Nadine Dorries - Humility Personified

Nice to see that every fundamentalist Christian’s favourite stooge – Nadine Dorries, has been crowing on about the Crewe and Nantwich by-election result.
Funny that, as I’m sure Cameron would hate that sort of triumphalism.

Poor Nadine’s mood must have improved over the last 24 hours – as she now seems to be full of goodwill for all around her!

“Congratulations Edward, the warmest welcome awaits you. What a stonking, amazing victory that was.”

“How incredible is Eric Pickles? What an amazing man.”

“Did you see David Cameron? He was bursting with energy and pleasure and goodwill to all men.”

Nadine’s own personal supply of goodwill does not however stretch to my favourite old teacher – Jacqui Smith. Not only has she had to suffer a brutal assault at the hands of the Police Federation this week; now Nadine has also got it in for her.

“The ridged look on Jacqui Smiths face gives me huge pleasure.”

“She is possibly the most arrogant and least pleasant of all the Labour women. There will be no seat turning from red to blue which will give me as much pleasure as that one.”

Steady on Nadine! Baring in mind some of the people you’ve been spending time with recently, I really don’t think you should be passing judgement on your fellow MPs.

Still, at least her Christian values come shining through in the end!

“PS I haven’t been triumphant or complacent in this blog have I?”

Oh, Nadine!!!!

Can’t see the Dunwoody for the trees

Battered, bruised and humiliated – but enough of my private life; it’s safe to say that last night did indeed turn in to a long, dark night of the soul.

It’s one thing to expect a defeat, but even I was shocked by the spanking we received last night. To lose the seat was bad enough, but to see such a massive swing towards the Tories confirms my worst fears as to just how unpopular Gordon Brown and the government really are amongst a section of traditional Labour voters.

We really must now finally wake up and realise that not only have we lost those Tory voters who were happy to support Blair in the absence of a credible Tory leader, but that we are also losing traditional, long term Labour supporters from all parts of society.

This wasn’t just about voters wanting to give the government a damn good kicking; I’m worried that there are now actually Labour supporters who feel that they would be better off under a Conservative administration.

Of, course, this by-election has been a fairly easy process for the Tories – after all, we’ve done most of the hard work for them by being so bloody inept. One must also look at a poorly conceived and run campaign, which unfortunately dominated the headlines, taking away any serious message that Tamsin would have been able to put forward. The Tory campaign team couldn’t believe their luck; such is the hatred for Labour at this present time, they found it easy to fight a campaign without actually having to say much in the first place.

However, in saying that, I still feel that too much has been made of any potential fall out from a negative, childish and ill thought out campaign. The facts are simple; the large turnout shows that suburban Tory supporters are now coming back out to vote for Cameron; this coupled with the ever increasing amount of pissed off Labour supporters now switching to the Tories could well spell disaster, and as some are now saying shows a real change of tide in the countries political landscape.

As for the Lib Dems, I had expected a section of the Labour vote to transfer to them as a form of mid-term protest, (looking back - I wish it had!), however, this didn’t occur. It now seems as if they also lost votes to the Tories, something that I’m not awfully surprised by. Still, this does not bode well for their chances at the general election.

One thing I would say however is how much dignity Tamsin showed last night following her defeat. I’m sure many of us were very moved by her speech, and I hope that the party can show a bit more of the fight and commitment to socialist values that were not only showed by her late Mother, but by her also.


More to come when I’ve had chance to recover and get rid of my Tory induced hangover……

Vote Comrades, Vote!!!

Well the day of the Crewe and Nantwich apocalypse has finally arrived. For days now the dark clouds of defeat have been gathering over one of the few openly socialist homes in north Worcestershire, (mine in case you wondered!).

It’s been hard to escape from the general vale of gloom and despair closing in on my small group of remaining party supporters. However, like a true pessimist, I’ve been doing my best to prepare for anticipated spanking that we are due to receive today. These preparations have mainly involved purchasing large amounts of very cheap and very nasty wine – at least I think it’s wine, it did come from my neighbours shed, so one can never be sure. I’m sure I caught him cleaning his paintbrushes with it the other day. It also seems to serve as a wonderful deterrent to over curious cats.

However, like an unexpected late night phone call from the girl you really fancy at work, I’ve woken up with a fresh sense of hope and optimism this morning. Now, I can assure you dear readers that this doesn’t happen too often; perhaps just once a year, and only on days of the week beginning with a ‘T’.

So, even though the odds are stacked against us; even though the campaign and been a disgrace and a bloody shambles; Labour supporters MUST get out there and vote today.

Like me, there are a lot of Labour supporters in Crewe who are thoroughly pissed off with the party. You can almost smell the sense of betrayal in the air, and it stinks; however these people must think very carefully about where they place their votes today.

Make no mistake, things are very bad right now, and it looks as if they could get a hell of lot worse by this evening. Even then, from a personal level, the thought of Labour supporters voting Tory is beyond my comprehension. This is something that I could never, EVER dream of doing; to be honest the very thought of it disgusts me!

Various sources tell us that the Lib Dems will benefit as a result of the governments retreating support. Now, I would admit that I’ve voted Lib Dem in the past; in fact I did a few weeks ago at the local elections. This is totally different though.

By switching to the Lib Dems, the only thing that will be achieved is a Tory victory. Lets be honest here - there is a far greater chance of Scarlet Johansson phoning me this afternoon and inviting me out for dinner then there is of the Lib Dems winning this seat. In their heart of hearts they know this – one only had to see the Cleggster at PMQs yesterday - he didn’t even mention the by-election.

So, if I could speak to the Labour supporters in Crew today, I would urge them to get out and vote – I know the outcome looks bleak, but we must stick together. If we have any hope of fighting back, then we have to start now, before it really is too late.

Dial 999 – Jacqui Smith Assaulted!

I’m concerned to note that my old economics teacher, Ms Smith has been severely assaulted, battered and bruised… Somebody really should call the police to report this heinous crime.

Hmmmm, we might have a small problem there, seeing as the vicious attack was in fact carried out by the police; in particular by Police Federation chairman Jan Berry.

One thing I will say in support of Jacqui – it takes a certain amount of ‘balls’ to sit there and take such a verbal bashing – especially when you’re in the wrong.

Ms Berry is spot on with most of her comments:

"Your decision not to honour the pay award was a breach of faith. It was a monumental mistake, and I don't say this lightly when I say you betrayed the police service.”

The government seem to still be living under the delusion that the Police in this country would not seriously consider strike action, or indeed act upon it. Perhaps ten years ago that may have been true. However, we live in different times, and the public perception of the government is that they no longer care about the poorest or low paid in society. Now, this is obviously rubbish, however, the one thing you should avoid at all costs is to piss off key groups of public sector workers, who play such a vital role in the running of our country.

The True Horror of the Paul Weller Haircut

So, I was sat at home last contemplating making an effort to do some much needed housework and awaiting news on the abortion bill – as you can tell just another normal evening in my increasingly middle aged world!

It’s at times like this that you need something to stir you from your self inflicted lethargy – a shock to the system, and by God I got one whilst watching Jools Holland on BBC2.

Now, I love Mr Weller; I would consider him to be one of the greatest songwriters that this country has ever produced; I’ve even been buying his records for nearly twenty years now.

However, nothing prepared me for the shock of his latest coiffure. However hard I tried, I just couldn’t take me eyes of it. Paul was playing some songs from his excellent new album; I kept trying to listen, I really wanted to listen – but I couldn’t, the hair had me transfixed.

Never before has the sight of a mop of silver hair made me think that I really should go and mop the kitchen floor. The sense of horror and despair that I felt throughout the rest of the night cannot be put into words!!

Please Paul, I’m coming to see you play live later this year – please, for my sake and for your own dignity, cut your hair!!!

Dispatches - In Gods Name (Channel 4)

As MPs voted last night on the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, it has been rather disturbing to watch as a ground swell of Christian Fundamentalists attempt to hijack the debate for their own means.

My worst fears were confirmed last night whilst watching an excellent episode of the programme Dispatches on Channel 4. In case you missed it, the episode – In Gods Name, was compelling viewing, and should hopefully serve as a warning to those who fail to see the dangerous and insidious nature of their various activities.

What really impressed me about the documentary was the way in which the programme makers simply allowed those being interviews to give their opinions, no matter how offensive, without resorting to sensationalist reporting.

As far as faith goes, I would consider myself to be a committed Atheist; however I choose not to condemn or ridicule those who do have a religious faith of any kind. It is an individuals right to practice their own religion and to worship as they see fit; however, this must go both ways.

The heavy handed tactics of those who see it as their place in life to force their Christian views upon those non evangelicals has always made me feel very uneasy.

For example, I feel we have to question why we have government regulated and approved, (independent), faith schools in this country, as featured in the programme. These children are being taught a hard line, almost fundamentalist version of Christianity. At one point, I was amazed to see a young girl sitting a science test, where one of the questions being asked was “In how many days did God create the Earth?” This is a science test we’re talking about here, not a religious education lesson.

Even more worryingly, this was followed by a fourteen year old girl at the school confirming that she thought that the Earth was somewhere between six and ten thousand years old!?! A quick look at her text book confirmed that this is the kind of information that these children are being taught to believe.

Is it me!?!? Perhaps I’m being too judgemental here? Surely it’s wrong for us to be allowing children to be taught this bunkum? Can it be right for children to be taught that the Bible should be taken quite literally as Gods word? The obvious and only answer to this must be a resounding NO…

It was fascinating to see the different lines of attack from within the fundamentalist community. Some prefer a more direct approach – openly spouting their vile anti-Islamic and homophobic views in public; for example at gay pride events, or on sites where proposed Mosques are due to be constructed. What is more worrying are the more professional and media savvy groups such as the Lawyers Christian Fellowship; represented during the programme by Andrea Minichiello Williams – their public policy director.

Now, Andrea is a self confessed fundamentalist; and as such it is disturbing that along with the LCF she has free access to lobby various members of the House of Lords and Parliament.

Whilst disturbing, it was less of a surprise to find out how closely the LCF have been working with the one and only Nadine Dorries. In fact, it transpired that Andrea has been working as a key member of the Dorries abortion campaign to reduce the abortion limit to twenty weeks – although as any liberal thinking person knows, their key objective would be to make abortion illegal in this country. So, with that in mind, let’s just think about this for a moment; what we have is an elected Tory MP receiving help, advice and backing from a group whose policy director not only admits to being a Christian fundamentalist, but also claims that Islam is a false religion. We could also mention that she is a homophobe who when asked estimates that the Earth is probably about four thousand years old, and rejects scientific evidence with regards to carbon dating.

So, we have to ask ourselves, should an elected member of parliament be associating in a professional capacity with a group such as the LCF?

When confronted with Andrea’s particular brand of Christian beliefs. Nadine didn’t seem unduly concerned. Then again, I wasn’t particularly surprised by this – her main areas of support obviously come from various parts of the wider Christian community. This iuncludes another organisation involving Andrea - Christian Concern for our Nation - their website makes interesting reading...

I think that serious questions need to be asked with regards to the levels of influence that groups such as the LCF have with our elected officials. Hopefully, documentaries such as this will help to open the debate with regards to the growing influence of Christian fundamentalism in this country.

George Bush - Comedy Genius

I’ve realised over the weekend just how fortunate we are to be in the midst of such a golden period for piss poor political memoirs. Forget all about loyalty, self-respect, or God forbid honesty; our three favourite literary titans have been sticking the knife in quicker then
Jack the Ripper on a quiet night out in Whitechapel. Of course, my personal award for such gross crassness can only go to one person, and that person is everyone’s favourite “socialist” Cherie Blair.

Obviously, the press has been full of obnoxious quotes from this tome of shit all weekend, (also known as “Speaking for my Bank Account”). It would be far, far too easy to mention the slightly disturbing contraception equipment episode – however, the thought of this is so horrible that one wonders if she carries a very small member of Opus Dei around in her luggage at all times – just in case…..

However, my favourite quote so far refers to Gods representative on Earth – George W Bush.

We’re indeed so very fortunate that our Cherie is such a fantastic ‘judge’ of character, otherwise we might have overlooked the following valuable piece of information:

“George is actually a very funny, charming man with a quirky sense of humour. No one can say that he doesn’t have a sense of humour.”


Well, thank you so much for pointing this out to us all Cherie. All this time I’d just assumed that Bush was just a war mongering, dangerous, Christian fundamentalist, idiotic buffoon. It just goes to show how easy it is to misjudge someone – with this in mind; here are a few of his more hilarious ‘quirky’ jokes….

"The regime . . . has aided, trained and harboured terrorists, including operatives of Al Qaeda. The danger is clear: using chemical, biological or, one day, nuclear weapons, obtained with the help of Iraq, the terrorists could fulfil their stated ambitions and kill thousands or hundreds of thousands of innocent people in our country, or any other."

Oh, George!!! Stop it!!!!

"Saddam Hussein has longstanding, direct and continuing ties to terrorist networks. Senior members of Iraqi intelligence and Al Qaeda have met at least eight times since the early 1990s. Iraq has sent bomb-making and document forgery experts to work with al Qaeda. Iraq has also provided al Qaeda with chemical and biological weapons training. We also know that Iraq is harbouring a terrorist network, headed by a senior Al Qaeda terrorist planner."

PLEASE STOP!!! You’re killing me!!!!

Q) What’s the first sign of madness?

A) Suggs walking up your driveway……..

That really is enough.........